Comments on: The Dark Side of Ministry http://pastorforlife.org/the-dark-side-of-ministry/ Tue, 31 Aug 2010 05:09:12 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Lon http://pastorforlife.org/the-dark-side-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-7412 Lon Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:41:48 +0000 http://pastorforlife.org/?p=305#comment-7412 As a pastor I have high theological ideals but most of my people are just trying to get on with life. They live in a world that is changing too fast for them to adapt and so they fight for the "old ways". As I read books on ministry the standard advice is too not try and change the church culture but instead work within the culture, not unlike a missionary. While I appreciate much of this wisdom, the pastoral role must keep keeps its eye on the prophetic task of change. Perhaps part of the problem with pastoral depression has to do with having a workable strategy that addresses this tension. Perhaps we wouldn't feel so hopeless, and have so many conflicts, if we knew better how to move people into the future. This seems to me an issue of leadership. Whenever I find myself resenting my people, it is normally connected with an approach that was insensitive and poorly timed. Sometimes conflict cannot be avoided and should not be avoided, but often we are our own worse enemy. As a pastor I have high theological ideals but most of my people are just trying to get on with life. They live in a world that is changing too fast for them to adapt and so they fight for the “old ways”. As I read books on ministry the standard advice is too not try and change the church culture but instead work within the culture, not unlike a missionary. While I appreciate much of this wisdom, the pastoral role must keep keeps its eye on the prophetic task of change.

Perhaps part of the problem with pastoral depression has to do with having a workable strategy that addresses this tension. Perhaps we wouldn’t feel so hopeless, and have so many conflicts, if we knew better how to move people into the future. This seems to me an issue of leadership. Whenever I find myself resenting my people, it is normally connected with an approach that was insensitive and poorly timed. Sometimes conflict cannot be avoided and should not be avoided, but often we are our own worse enemy.

]]> By: Gerald Garvan http://pastorforlife.org/the-dark-side-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-7129 Gerald Garvan Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:12:27 +0000 http://pastorforlife.org/?p=305#comment-7129 In one the one hand I have the greatest sympathy for clerics. The demands that are made on them are beyond the biblical mandate. They are ask to be responsible for so many areas the congregation should shoulder themselves, but are to lazy and uncommitted, to do for themselves. It become a tremendous burden on the cleric. But, on the other hand, I have little sympathy for the vast majority of the clerics that I have encountered over the past seventy years. I have found them to be the most resistant to cultural change of anyone. Across all sects of the christian fabric they have been the quickest to cast the heretic label on anyone that deviates from what they learned in their respective schools. Change to meet culture is not always the congregations fault. In one the one hand I have the greatest sympathy for clerics. The demands that are made on them are beyond the biblical mandate. They are ask to be responsible for so many areas the congregation should shoulder themselves, but are to lazy and uncommitted, to do for themselves. It become a tremendous burden on the cleric.

But, on the other hand, I have little sympathy for the vast majority of the clerics that I have encountered over the past seventy years. I have found them to be the most resistant to cultural change of anyone. Across all sects of the christian fabric they have been the quickest to cast the heretic label on anyone that deviates from what they learned in their respective schools.

Change to meet culture is not always the congregations fault.

]]> By: Paul http://pastorforlife.org/the-dark-side-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-6436 Paul Sat, 21 Nov 2009 07:05:39 +0000 http://pastorforlife.org/?p=305#comment-6436 Dan, Thank you so much for your vulnerability, and for sharing your story here! I am honored that you would be so open here, and truly hope that other Pastors and church members and attenders can hear your story and take it to heart. Lots of us as Pastors need to hear this! Blessings! Paul Dan,

Thank you so much for your vulnerability, and for sharing your story here! I am honored that you would be so open here, and truly hope that other Pastors and church members and attenders can hear your story and take it to heart. Lots of us as Pastors need to hear this!

Blessings!

Paul

]]> By: Rev Dan http://pastorforlife.org/the-dark-side-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-6428 Rev Dan Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:38:37 +0000 http://pastorforlife.org/?p=305#comment-6428 I not only greatly respect Milfred on his perspective but his candidness. Ministry can be like a sea, a sea full of sharks. Sadly some of those sharks can be other leaders who do not understand the complexities of depression. Some of us, me included, are more prone to depression because of family genetics; furthermore, when depression strikes a pastor who has a genetic predisposition, his leadership effectiveness may be crippled. Thus his peers may see this as "poor leadership ability." Of course the assessment is totally wrong but can lead the depressed pastor to further frustration and hopelessness. It is not that a pastor needs to pray more, as I did, he needs to get medical attention. We live in a day where there are a host of great medications to assist the pastor's brain in becoming more balanced and productive. When I fell into my clinical depression and attempted suicide I did not want to die. As a pastor I loved my church members, I enjoyed much of ministry, but the economic climate had stripped me of much support and salary. I just could not get anything done and many in my congregation were suffering also. I felt completely powerless and ineffective and I just wanted to put the brakes on my ministry vehicle heading for a crash! I was the one who crashed. Fortunately, I lived and the following train wreck resulted in further pain. My half-hearted suicide attempt failed and I was hospitalized having intensive therapy five days per week for twelve weeks. This included a round of medications to help the chemical imbalance in my brain become normal again. I had great support and great friends helping me. Sadly only one of those came from my denomination. In fact, now I may loose my church and my role as pastor because of the deep ignorance of those in my local denominational leadership. I now pray that there will be compassion and support from the peers of any pastor suffering from severe depression in the future. God help us understand and provide empathy. - PD I not only greatly respect Milfred on his perspective but his candidness. Ministry can be like a sea, a sea full of sharks. Sadly some of those sharks can be other leaders who do not understand the complexities of depression. Some of us, me included, are more prone to depression because of family genetics; furthermore, when depression strikes a pastor who has a genetic predisposition, his leadership effectiveness may be crippled. Thus his peers may see this as “poor leadership ability.” Of course the assessment is totally wrong but can lead the depressed pastor to further frustration and hopelessness.

It is not that a pastor needs to pray more, as I did, he needs to get medical attention. We live in a day where there are a host of great medications to assist the pastor’s brain in becoming more balanced and productive. When I fell into my clinical depression and attempted suicide I did not want to die. As a pastor I loved my church members, I enjoyed much of ministry, but the economic climate had stripped me of much support and salary. I just could not get anything done and many in my congregation were suffering also. I felt completely powerless and ineffective and I just wanted to put the brakes on my ministry vehicle heading for a crash! I was the one who crashed.

Fortunately, I lived and the following train wreck resulted in further pain. My half-hearted suicide attempt failed and I was hospitalized having intensive therapy five days per week for twelve weeks. This included a round of medications to help the chemical imbalance in my brain become normal again. I had great support and great friends helping me. Sadly only one of those came from my denomination. In fact, now I may loose my church and my role as pastor because of the deep ignorance of those in my local denominational leadership.

I now pray that there will be compassion and support from the peers of any pastor suffering from severe depression in the future. God help us understand and provide empathy. – PD

]]> By: Paul http://pastorforlife.org/the-dark-side-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-6198 Paul Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:53:26 +0000 http://pastorforlife.org/?p=305#comment-6198 I really appreciate your perspective on this Milfred! My experience, personally and in conversation with other Pastors, tells me this angle of the pressure of leading change against the wishes of people we dearly love and want to lead is one that is so often overlooked. When you are a long-tenured Pastor in the heart (which I am ... 24 years in the same place), you find that you tend to lose dearly loved people and that is trauma to the soul. Thanks for fighting for us all! I really appreciate your perspective on this Milfred! My experience, personally and in conversation with other Pastors, tells me this angle of the pressure of leading change against the wishes of people we dearly love and want to lead is one that is so often overlooked. When you are a long-tenured Pastor in the heart (which I am … 24 years in the same place), you find that you tend to lose dearly loved people and that is trauma to the soul.

Thanks for fighting for us all!

]]> By: MIlfred Minatrea http://pastorforlife.org/the-dark-side-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-6194 MIlfred Minatrea Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:37:53 +0000 http://pastorforlife.org/?p=305#comment-6194 Paul, thanks for reposting the article. No week passes except that I encounter at least one fellow minister who is walking through deep pain. May God grant us all compassion enough to care and the will to accompany brothers and sisters through "the dark side of ministry." Paul, thanks for reposting the article. No week passes except that I encounter at least one fellow minister who is walking through deep pain. May God grant us all compassion enough to care and the will to accompany brothers and sisters through “the dark side of ministry.”

]]> By: Paul http://pastorforlife.org/the-dark-side-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-6190 Paul Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:38:55 +0000 http://pastorforlife.org/?p=305#comment-6190 Thanks for both the input and the encouragement Tom! Thanks for both the input and the encouragement Tom!

]]> By: Tom Pierce http://pastorforlife.org/the-dark-side-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-6180 Tom Pierce Thu, 12 Nov 2009 12:46:04 +0000 http://pastorforlife.org/?p=305#comment-6180 I've often suspected that many or most of the prophets (particularly Jeremiah) may have endured life-long struggles with depression. There is something about caring deeply that exposes our emotional vulnerability. While resistance to change is nothing new, the strong currents of cultural change -- crashing against the passion to preserve ancient truths and traditions -- make contemporary waters quite choppy indeed. Pastors often live at the pinpoint of this tension, which proves a constant source of stress, anxiety, and anger. Suppressing the impulse to unleash that anger on congregants and community, pastors frequently focus that anger inward, which yields self-destructive depression. The support and encouragement of fellow ministers helps calm the waters, dispel the anger, and restore the spirit. Your voice, Paul, is one that brings grace and peace, and helps quiet the storms within my soul. I’ve often suspected that many or most of the prophets (particularly Jeremiah) may have endured life-long struggles with depression. There is something about caring deeply that exposes our emotional vulnerability. While resistance to change is nothing new, the strong currents of cultural change — crashing against the passion to preserve ancient truths and traditions — make contemporary waters quite choppy indeed. Pastors often live at the pinpoint of this tension, which proves a constant source of stress, anxiety, and anger. Suppressing the impulse to unleash that anger on congregants and community, pastors frequently focus that anger inward, which yields self-destructive depression. The support and encouragement of fellow ministers helps calm the waters, dispel the anger, and restore the spirit. Your voice, Paul, is one that brings grace and peace, and helps quiet the storms within my soul.

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