I Might As Well Admit It ….

July 8, 2008

I am not nearly as put together as I may seem. My penchant for being articulate in my speech often covers over my insecurity about being thought of as slow or stupid.

Whenever someone asks me if we can get together sometime soon to talk about “something”, I struggle with wonder about if “something” is me. Or something I did. Or something I said. Or didn’t say.

I want everyone to like me …. no, if I am going to demand honesty here, I want everyone to love me. Accept me. Approve of me. I am not always convinced that happens on the basis of who I AM instead of what I DO.

It’s true. I am a broken, messed up person. At the bottom of my heart is a real desire to serve Jesus with all I am, but too often, the crud above what’s at the bottom of my heart gets in the way. I have to work to push past all that so I can focus on Jesus and what He really wanst to do in and through me.

I love the way my wife succinctly states this truth …. “We’re all so twisted, it’s a wonder any of us can get out of bed in the morning!”

Anyone else? How do you state it?

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Anxiety, Expectations, Failure, Uncategorized 

Comments

One Response to “I Might As Well Admit It ….”

  1. Kevin M. on July 18th, 2008 5:27 pm

    Great thoughts Paul! I can totally relate to everything that you said. It is like you went inside my head and pulled these thoughts out. :)

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