While I haven’t worked in situations where someone worked on our staff while attending a different church, I have spoken with those who have. There is something to be said for the ability to differentiate work life from personal life that most church leaders don’t have the opportunity to do.

Extra personal work must be done in order for that differentiation to be healthy in an environment where you go to church at the place you lead.

Blessings to you!

Paul

Perhaps part of the problem with pastoral depression has to do with having a workable strategy that addresses this tension. Perhaps we wouldn’t feel so hopeless, and have so many conflicts, if we knew better how to move people into the future. This seems to me an issue of leadership. Whenever I find myself resenting my people, it is normally connected with an approach that was insensitive and poorly timed. Sometimes conflict cannot be avoided and should not be avoided, but often we are our own worse enemy.

But, on the other hand, I have little sympathy for the vast majority of the clerics that I have encountered over the past seventy years. I have found them to be the most resistant to cultural change of anyone. Across all sects of the christian fabric they have been the quickest to cast the heretic label on anyone that deviates from what they learned in their respective schools.

Change to meet culture is not always the congregations fault.

Thank you so much for your vulnerability, and for sharing your story here! I am honored that you would be so open here, and truly hope that other Pastors and church members and attenders can hear your story and take it to heart. Lots of us as Pastors need to hear this!

Blessings!

Paul

It is not that a pastor needs to pray more, as I did, he needs to get medical attention. We live in a day where there are a host of great medications to assist the pastor’s brain in becoming more balanced and productive. When I fell into my clinical depression and attempted suicide I did not want to die. As a pastor I loved my church members, I enjoyed much of ministry, but the economic climate had stripped me of much support and salary. I just could not get anything done and many in my congregation were suffering also. I felt completely powerless and ineffective and I just wanted to put the brakes on my ministry vehicle heading for a crash! I was the one who crashed.

Fortunately, I lived and the following train wreck resulted in further pain. My half-hearted suicide attempt failed and I was hospitalized having intensive therapy five days per week for twelve weeks. This included a round of medications to help the chemical imbalance in my brain become normal again. I had great support and great friends helping me. Sadly only one of those came from my denomination. In fact, now I may loose my church and my role as pastor because of the deep ignorance of those in my local denominational leadership.

I now pray that there will be compassion and support from the peers of any pastor suffering from severe depression in the future. God help us understand and provide empathy. – PD

Thanks for fighting for us all!