Healthy Follow-Up to Gary Lamb Post

June 18, 2009

After last week’s post about the resignation of Pastor Gary Lamb due to an affair with his assistant, a good friend of mine, who is also a Pastor, suggested I look at a video teaching by Pastor Wayne Cordeiro, called “The Heart of a Champion”.

Friends, this video is worth your time and note-taking. It is filled with rich wisdom on checking our own hearts in days like these. Situations like Gary’s are an unfortunate “dime a dozen”. It was Gary last week, who will it be next week? Not trying to be morbid or hopeless, just truthful.

Truth be known, we are ALL susceptible to failure, because we are human. Nothing more, nothing less. You might be living in the proverbial phone booth, thinking that your Superman cape and superpowers keep you from walking a road like Gary’s, but the bottom line is, you are only fooling yourself.

It takes intentionality and truth-telling that is hard and uneasy and awkward. Take the time to go through this video. Bring it to your Staff, Church Council, or whatever group of leaders you see fit. Whatever you do, do something intentional today to affair-proof your own marriage.

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Brokenness, confession, deception, duplicity, Emotional health, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Failure, Marriage, Pastor, Personal Pace, Physical health, Relationships, Sabbath, Sex Addiction, Spiritual health, Things that add life, Things that drain life | 1 Comment 

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Conference is THIS week!

April 28, 2009

I just arrived in New York City, Queens as a matter of fact. I am excited for this year’s Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Conference. I plan on live blogging and Twittering highlights, so follow along!

On the blog, I’m using CoverItLive and as for Twitter, follow me at here.

You have to set up a Twitter account and them “follow” me, but it’s worth it. Give it a try!

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Emotional health, Leadership, Life, Margin, Pace of life, Pastor, Relationships, Rest, Sabbath, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment 

A Video Tell-All On Us Pastors?

November 29, 2008

ht: Anne Jackson

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Church life, Church people, death, Emotional health, Expectations, Failure, Family, Leadership, Margin, Pace of life, Pastor, Personal Pace, Physical health, Rest, Sabbath, sleep, Spiritual health, Things that add life, Things that drain life, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment 

Distractions Extraordinaire

October 1, 2008

You don’t have to be in ministry to know both the rush and frustration of distractions. We want to know how we can avoid them, when the truth is that we can’t. Tasks we haven’t thought of, crises that we didn’t anticipate and disasters that no one could ever predict come upon us. They just do. Let alone the distractions we allow for one reason or another.

I am an email fiend if there ever was one, love Twitter, and think you should follow me for the fun of it. At the same time, I try to have some semblance of availability as a Pastor that doesn’t border on or cross the line of neuroticism. There are some distractions that are controllable, if we so choose. I know I must work at limiting them for the good of my own soul.

Thanks to my friend, Bob Hyatt, I quote Ruth Haley Barton, from her book, Sacred Rhythms, as follows:

“It’s not that I am averse to technology; I too have a cell phone, an office phone, a home phone and an email address, and they are much needed. However, I am aware of longings that run much deeper than what technology can address. I am noticing that the more I fill my life with the convenience of technology, the emptier I become in the places of my deepest longing. I long for the beauty and substance of being in the presence of those I love, even though it is less convenient. I long for spacious, thoughtful conversation even though it is less efficient. I long to be connected with my authentic self, even though it means being inaccessible to others at time. I long to be one who waits and listens deeply for the still, small voice of God, even if it means I must unplug from technology in order to become quiet enough to hear.

Constant noise, interruption and drivenness to be more productive cut us off from or at least interrupt the direct experience of God and other human beings, and this is more isolating than we realize. Because we are experiencing less meaningful and divine connection, we are emptier relationally, and we try harder and harder to fill that loneliness with even more noise and stimulation. In so doing we lose touch with the quieter and more subtler experiences of God within.

This is a vicious cycle indeed.”

Well said, don’t you think? If you’re NOT thinking about it or can’t grasp it, therein may lie the problem of which we speak. Just a thought!

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Anxiety, Burnout, Church life, Creativity, Emotional health, Leadership, Life, Margin, Message Preparation, Pace of life, Pastor, Personal Pace, Rest, Sabbath, Sabbaticals, Things that add life | 6 Comments 

Do You Need A Nap?

September 9, 2008

Think what you will, but everyBODY needs a nap, at least once in a while, if not almost every day. In reality, this post should probably stand on its own in the “Your Personal Pace” series. The topic is sleep, and you may think it a luxury. It may be a necessity.

Justify it to your heart’s delight. Actually, it’s probably to your heart’s terror and dread. I went for years bragging on how I could live on 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Until my body said, “No more!”

Read about any sleep study you can get your hands on. You need AT LEAST 6-8 hours of sleep every night. We all have to go without some of what we need, but we want that to be the exception, not the norm. If you lose some of it tonight, studies will also tell you that we can’t “catch up” on it.

However, we CAN follow our bodies. They’re usually smarter than we are and tell us what we need when we need it. The problem is we think we are smarter than the body God created us in. He uses MANY avenues to speak to us … how about our body? When we need rest/sleep, it is sure to tell us.

So, if you’re reading this with toothpicks in your eyes to keep them open, go take a nap. You want to find out how it feels to “Pastor FOR Life” and “Pastor WITH Life”, go take yourself a nap!

When I encountered burnout several years ago, one of the symptoms was insomnia. My adrenal glands, according to my doctor, were exhausted. They no longer knew when to spurt adrenaline into my system and when not to. So they did whenever they felt like it, and sometimes wouldn’t when I really needed it.

Over the years, I’ve used a number of sleep aids. Even to this day, I currently use Lunesta on a regular basis. (NOTE: Only use sleep medications with a doctor’s prescription. That’s not legalese, it’s common sense!) I also use an eye cover, as I’ve discovered that even a little light can wake me or keep me awake. When I travel, I use ear plugs.

If you’re looking for some good napping help, here’s a little primer from the Boston Globe:

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Depression, Emotional health, Life, Margin, Pace of life, Pastor, Personal Pace, Physical health, Rest, Sabbath, sleep, Spiritual health, Things that drain life, Things that give life | 2 Comments 

Feast or Famine

September 1, 2008

I’m one of those Pastors who happens to live on “church property”. We live in the parsonage right next door to the church. Fortunately, the front of my house faces AWAY from the church, and my leadership at the church saw the wisdom a few years ago of adding a couple layers of block on top of the back wall. Now, I don’t have to observe and wonder about work every time I’m in my back yard.

For us, it’s been by and large a good experience to live where we do. However, that hasn’t always been true, nor is it always true today.

Reflecting on my calendar this Summer, I realized some circumstances kept me from taking the kind of time away that I am used to. My oldest son, now 13, had some surgery on a leg that was necessary and very successful, but resulted in the need for lots of down time. He’s our :komebody”, so he felt most comfortable just staying home.

My wife, Colleen, begins a new job this week as a Teacher at our local Adult school. She has been feverishly preparing for this new role, and didn’t feel free to take much time away over the last couple months.

We finally got away for almost a week just a couple of weeks ago. It was wonderful, refreshing, and caused me to once again see the need for regular time away. Not just vacation time, but time to get away to be with Jesus, letting Him quiet my soul and lead me to His rest.

The last couple of days, Colleen and I have been working out our Fall calendar. I saw a window of opportunity to get away with her and the boys, but didn’t say anything. However, then I read a friend’s blog post.

I want to share it with you, and by doing so, introduce you to Jan Owens. Read her blog post on getting away here, click here to read her story, and click here to subscribe to her blog in a reader. You will be glad you did! We have not met personally, but I really appreciate her vulnerability and perspective on life in God as a Church Leader.

If it’s been a while since you’ve gotten away to refocus and be refreshed, I know Jan would join me in encouraging you to get your calendar out right now. Look over the next weeks and months. DO NOT CLOSE THAT CALENDAR until you’ve pencilied in at least a time or two away from the grind before the holidays hit!

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Church life, Creativity, Emotional health, Life, Margin, Pace of life, Rest, Sabbath, Spiritual health, Things that add life, vulnerability | Leave a Comment 

“Regular” Weekend

July 21, 2008

I am a firm believer that every Pastor should have a “regular” weekend. A weekend like “regular” folk, especially if you’re married and have kids.

I experienced one this weekend. It was precipitated by my son having surgery last week (the story and result is here if you’re interested). We knew it was coming for a month, so it was easy to arrange my preaching schedule so that this would be one of my “regular” weekends. I try to schedule one about every 6 weeks or so. On most of them (not all), I am at church, but someone else is preaching. I find that it’s good for the church and good for my family as well.

A Pastors weekend (Saturday) is usually filled with ministry activity of some sort. At the least, you end up having to work hard to distract yourself from thinking about Sunday. Many Pastors today have Saturday services as well as Sunday, adding to the IRregularity of weekend life.

I’ve become a believer in “regular” weekends, taken regularly. The demands and constant, 24/7 communication connections take a toll in today’s Pastoral life and vocation.

  • I believe in the Sabbath, and practice it.
  • I believe in “office hours” for the Pastor. Yet, illnesses happen, accidents occur and people die…..um, I’ve found that those kind of Pastoral emergencies almost always happen OUTSIDE of “office hours”.
  • I believe in vacations, and actually taking them; doing whatever you can as a Pastor to disconnect and “let the Church be the Church” when you’re gone.
  • Matter of fact, I even believe in Sabbaticals – extended times away from the congregation every few years for the purpose of rest, reflection and refreshing of life and vocational call.

However, especially if you have kids, a Pastor’s schedule rarely fits theirs. I believe every once in a while it ought to. I believe our kids will remember being a “PK” with a more abundant joy and satisfaction.

Now, admittedly, I don’t know this to be true. My kids are right now only 12 and 13. But I know I have lots of conversations with Pastors and their kids (my own kids included), and the pace of life most of us live in regard to our weekends could use a rest.

Jesus will still build His Church. The Kingdom will still expand. God will still be on the throne.

I know, much easier said than done for lots of reasons, but nonetheless worthy. Your thoughts?

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Church life, Expectations, Family, Leadership, Life, Pace of life, Pastor, Rest, Sabbath, Sabbaticals, Things that add life | 1 Comment 

Mad Church Disease

July 11, 2008

Enjoy this excerpt from Mad Church Disease and read on after it…

As much as we may want to, we can never rid ourselves from our past – the good or the bad. And regardless of how normal or even how terrible your past might be, you have experienced those things for a reason. The successes, the failures, the joy and the pain are all beautifully woven together to make you who you are at this moment.

We should look at our past like a gift and not a burden. And as such, we should steward it like any other gift we have been given. We need to be grateful for our unique circumstances, not resentful. Once we accept our God given past, we can find out what about it makes us extraordinary.

By taking our focus off of the dysfunctions of our past, and changing it to how God can work through us using our journey as a whole – our history, our present, and our future – we are less likely to burn out. Any time we become less and He becomes more, it’s His power being perfected in us.

You can now preorder the book from Amazon here.

**A Few Facts About the Book**

So all that AND more for $16.99!

Just a little over a year ago, the website for Mad Church Disease launched and people began sharing their stories..thousands of people!

If you preorder Mad Church Disease now, with Amazon, if the price goes any lower after you order it today, you will lock in the lower price (because…correct me if I’m wrong…but I don’t think it charges you until it ships, which will be February 1, 2009).

The Mad Church Disease website will be completely relaunched later this year, and will include a forum for pastors, church leaders, their families, and volunteers to dialogue and encourage each other to pursue a holy, healthy ministry.

**CASE ORDERS**

If you would like to purchase a case (40 or more books) there is a 30% discount! Please email Anne and she will get you hooked up.

Giddy up!

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Church life, Expectations, Failure, Leadership, Margin, Sabbath, success, Things that add life, Things that drain life | 1 Comment 

Margin and/or the Lack Thereof

May 12, 2008

Bob Hyatt over at PastorHacks.com writes this GREAT post about margin in our lives. So important for anyone in ministry, vocational or bi-vocational (or tri-vocational) to learn to build margin into every area of life.

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Church life, Expectations, Life, Margin, Pastor, Rest, Sabbath, Things that drain life, Things that give life | Leave a Comment 

Sabbath Devotional

May 3, 2008

Daniel Brown writes an excellent devotional on the practice of the Sabbath. Click here to get there.

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Church life, Life, Pastor, Sabbath | 4 Comments 

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