I’ll Be Toast on Thursday! You?
December 22, 2008
Thursday is Christmas Day, and I am as excited about it as anyone gets. I remind our church all through the year how many days are left till Christmas.
One thing I’ve learned over the years though. When we do our Christmas Eve Celebrations on the actual night of Christmas Eve, I am almost worthless on Christmas Day.
You can deny it if you want, but it’s true for most of us in ministry leadership. It’s called Adrenal Letdown, and you can read a little more about it here. I’ve found it very freeing to be honest with myself and others about it. I fought it for too many years and wasted too much energy trying to figure out why I felt so funky the day after intense ministry and people time.
How do you deal with your adrenal letdown? What will you do with it on Christmas Day?
Congregational Grief at Crossroads Cincinnati
December 18, 2008
The topic of how a church body handles grief and loss is HUGE for a Pastor. How a Pastor and his/her leadership handle it makes all the difference in the world.
News comes from Cincinnati this morning about a tragic accident that occurred during a Christmas presentation at Crossroads Church. You can read their statement here.
What is of particular interest and, I believe speaks VOLUMES about how they are handling the circumstance is the connection they are helping their church family make to something called, “Critical Incident Stress Management” (CISM for short). As a Police Chaplain, I’ve received training in CISM, which is an intentional process to help people (in my Chaplain field, it would primarily be first responders, though the process is also extremely helpful to witnesses, such as in this case) work through their shock and grief.
As a pastor having led through tragic events that deeply impact a church family, it’s so critical not only that the Pastor care for the church family and community, but that the Pastor also practice adequate self-care. To lead through times like this is deeply draining!
Read what they placed on their website about CISM here.
You can look further into CISM here.
I commend Crossroads Cincinnati for taking BOLD steps toward helping their community recover from this event! They will go far in seeing healing and recovery take place with their proactivity
A Video Tell-All On Us Pastors?
November 29, 2008
ht: Anne Jackson
Pastor Wayne Cordeiro Returns To New Hope
October 29, 2008
This past weekend, Pastor Wayne Cordeiro returned to the pulpit for the first time since his recent heart surgery. You can read about that here.
This is a great opportunity to observe how a leader returns to ministry after a life-threatening crisis at the same time as determining how he will (or for some, IF he will) do life and ministry differently. For starters in this particular situation, it seems that at the very least, Wayne is coming back slowly.
You can watch the message he preached here called “Things We Must Do For Ourselves” in a very innovative manner. In the beginning, he mentions that the church will hear the message in this way over the next 4 weeks.
While New Hope has many campuses and they do much by satellite and live video feeds, whoever brings the message (primarily Wayne) almost always does so live at their main campus with FIVE services every weekend.
Wayne has already mentioned that his heart condition was somewhat the result of pushing too hard by preaching five services every weekend for many years. So …. what’s a mega-church (giga-church is a growing new term for churches of New Hope’s size) Pastor to do?
Well, Wayne’s first message back was a mixture of video and live speaking. The bulk of the message he actually preached on video, which was done very creatively.
It was well-mixed with Wayne speaking the message and some illustrative dramatic and musical elements. Wayne introduced the video live, segued with some live comments in the middle, went back to the video, finished the teaching with a live special song with the New Hope Worship Team and then Wayne brought the conclusion of the service live.
This, in my opinion, is a great example of what I call “Finding Your Personal Pace“. It will be interesting to see how Wayne and New Hope will progress from here. I have a hunch we will see some incredibly innovative and well-led ways for a Pastor to recover from a crisis in his life such as this.
Folks, you can be the most positive minded person in the world, but you can’t escape the reality of personal crisis happening even in the Pastor’s life. How we handle that crisis can mean everything for ourselves and our leadership.
Do you know of another Pastor who has had to handle personal crisis from the pulpit? If it’s OK to share it publically, feel free to do so in the comments. Let’s learn how to do this together, so we can do it better in the future!
Adrenal Letdown
October 27, 2008
I’ve heard it said that preaching for an hour can equal the energy output of 3-4 hours worth of work. Multiply that for Pastors who preach at multiple services by the number of services they preach at each weekend.
Arch Hart, in his book, “Adrenaline & Stress”, lays out his study on the impact of adrenaline on a person’s body. He emphasizes the impact it has on Pastors in the book, as well as in many of his talks to groups of Pastors.
Over the last few years, with Arch’s help, I’ve grown to identify much of the awful after-effects of preaching as adrenal letdown. Preaching demands the use of adrenaline and I find that many Pastors either have no idea, or they completely deny, its impact. You know, we’re Superman/women/people, right? What might impact others negatively, God will protect us from! (In case you’re wondering, yes, my tongue is in my cheek as I write that!)
Arch contends that when you expend an inordinate amount of adrenaline, like we Pastors do when we preach, you are bound to experience a letdown of the adrenaline so that the system, the body, can recover and restore itself back to a normal state. There are various brain chemicals involved in the cycle, including serotonin, which can drop low as adrenaline restores, resulting in a feeling of depression at different levels.
How much time it takes to recover and what the symptoms of the recovery are can be different for everyone. For me, I find that on Monday, it’s common for me to develop a low grade headache right behind my eyes. I call it my “serotonin-low” headache. And there’s a general malaise that I often experience.
Have you identified the impact of adrenaline recovery after you preach? What are your common signs?
Distractions Extraordinaire
October 1, 2008
You don’t have to be in ministry to know both the rush and frustration of distractions. We want to know how we can avoid them, when the truth is that we can’t. Tasks we haven’t thought of, crises that we didn’t anticipate and disasters that no one could ever predict come upon us. They just do. Let alone the distractions we allow for one reason or another.
I am an email fiend if there ever was one, love Twitter, and think you should follow me for the fun of it. At the same time, I try to have some semblance of availability as a Pastor that doesn’t border on or cross the line of neuroticism. There are some distractions that are controllable, if we so choose. I know I must work at limiting them for the good of my own soul.
Thanks to my friend, Bob Hyatt, I quote Ruth Haley Barton, from her book, Sacred Rhythms, as follows:
“It’s not that I am averse to technology; I too have a cell phone, an office phone, a home phone and an email address, and they are much needed. However, I am aware of longings that run much deeper than what technology can address. I am noticing that the more I fill my life with the convenience of technology, the emptier I become in the places of my deepest longing. I long for the beauty and substance of being in the presence of those I love, even though it is less convenient. I long for spacious, thoughtful conversation even though it is less efficient. I long to be connected with my authentic self, even though it means being inaccessible to others at time. I long to be one who waits and listens deeply for the still, small voice of God, even if it means I must unplug from technology in order to become quiet enough to hear.
Constant noise, interruption and drivenness to be more productive cut us off from or at least interrupt the direct experience of God and other human beings, and this is more isolating than we realize. Because we are experiencing less meaningful and divine connection, we are emptier relationally, and we try harder and harder to fill that loneliness with even more noise and stimulation. In so doing we lose touch with the quieter and more subtler experiences of God within.
This is a vicious cycle indeed.”
Well said, don’t you think? If you’re NOT thinking about it or can’t grasp it, therein may lie the problem of which we speak. Just a thought!
When Crisis Comes Home
September 22, 2008
It’s good to be writing again. This is my first post since our city experienced the tragic Metrolink Train Crash back on Friday, September 12. While the crash itself happened right outside our city limits, of the 25 people killed in the wreck, 10 were residents of Simi Valley.
I honestly have mixed feelings about the fact that none of those killed or injured were a part of the congregation I serve as Pastor. I am so grateful that our Church Family can share stories of God’s hand being upon circumstances that would have had a number of them on that very train. For various reasons, they weren’t.
The mixed feelings come in for those that were not spared somehow. I don’t come anywhere near trying to have answers anymore. I used to. At one time, I felt the pressure of having to produce some kind of answer that would somehow save someone from the grief ahead of them in their uncertainty.
Somewhere along the way, I got honest. I started to finally just say, “I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could take your pain for you. I have no answers.”
I do, however, point people to God. He may not give us our answer today, but someday, we will get it. I believe that beyond cliche or form answer. I believe it to the depths of my very soul. And that’s where I point people.
He’s the Savior, I am not. When I rest my heart in that truth, I am able to navigate crisis becomes a lot differently.
That doesn’t mean that crisis is any easier. When it comes home, everything else adjusts. (Thus, my absence from posting here for a number of days.)
Where the crisis did come home for me was as a friend to Pastors in town and as a Police Chaplain.
As a friend to Pastors, I have a couple of friends who DID lose people in their church and whose congregants were badly injured. I have offered a shoulder and an ear.
As a Police Chaplain, I was not at the scene of the accident, but did get called upon to represent our City in two public gatherings held to memorialize and offer opportunities for people to grieve and mourn. That is a true honor to me.
Being a Chaplain puts me in places behind the scenes that others rarely get to see and experience. Watching City officials grapple with the demands and responsibilities of their leadership while still allowing for their own grief is an interesting place. (Just a quick plug … I am very proud of how our City has responded to and handled this incident.)
Bottom line as it pertains to Pastor For Life …. when crisis comes home, everything else must adjust. You can’t give what you don’t have. Crisis situations demand a lot more giving than everyday life.
If you’re facing tragedy and crisis in your life, be sure to find the people God has placed in your path that YOU can lean on. Give yourself extra time and grace to allow your own mind and soul to wrap itself around what just happened and what continues to unravel over the next days and weeks. It is a process that takes time.
Do You Need A Nap?
September 9, 2008
Think what you will, but everyBODY needs a nap, at least once in a while, if not almost every day. In reality, this post should probably stand on its own in the “Your Personal Pace” series. The topic is sleep, and you may think it a luxury. It may be a necessity.
Justify it to your heart’s delight. Actually, it’s probably to your heart’s terror and dread. I went for years bragging on how I could live on 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Until my body said, “No more!”
Read about any sleep study you can get your hands on. You need AT LEAST 6-8 hours of sleep every night. We all have to go without some of what we need, but we want that to be the exception, not the norm. If you lose some of it tonight, studies will also tell you that we can’t “catch up” on it.
However, we CAN follow our bodies. They’re usually smarter than we are and tell us what we need when we need it. The problem is we think we are smarter than the body God created us in. He uses MANY avenues to speak to us … how about our body? When we need rest/sleep, it is sure to tell us.
So, if you’re reading this with toothpicks in your eyes to keep them open, go take a nap. You want to find out how it feels to “Pastor FOR Life” and “Pastor WITH Life”, go take yourself a nap!
When I encountered burnout several years ago, one of the symptoms was insomnia. My adrenal glands, according to my doctor, were exhausted. They no longer knew when to spurt adrenaline into my system and when not to. So they did whenever they felt like it, and sometimes wouldn’t when I really needed it.
Over the years, I’ve used a number of sleep aids. Even to this day, I currently use Lunesta on a regular basis. (NOTE: Only use sleep medications with a doctor’s prescription. That’s not legalese, it’s common sense!) I also use an eye cover, as I’ve discovered that even a little light can wake me or keep me awake. When I travel, I use ear plugs.
If you’re looking for some good napping help, here’s a little primer from the Boston Globe:
Your Personal Pace, Part 5
September 3, 2008
I want to keep moving in this series of posts on your personal pace. Click on these link to get to Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.
We all have job descriptions. Pastors do too. We also all have expectations. Some of those are contained in our job descriptions, but I venture to say that MOST of the things we are expected to do are NOT in the job description.
I don’t know where it comes from, but I was told by a counselor who counsels Pastors that studies have shown that the average American congregation has 72 different role expectations of their Pastor! WOW! I’m getting tired just thinking about it!
That leaves a ton of stuff to figure out about what we ought to do and we ought not do. Truth is in leadership positions of any kind, it becomes imperative to figure out WHAT KIND of leader you are. You cannot do it all. Contrary to popular belief (maybe even YOUR belief), you are NOT Superman.
Thriving long-term in ministry leadership requires that you check your cape at the door and leave the “S” shirt (and blouses, ladies) in the closet at home.
That said, I grow a little concerned any time I hear someone say, “Pastors should (fill in the blank)….” or “Pastors need to (fill in the blank)….”, as though every Pastor is built in a way that would make him or her an expert in the area the person is talking about.
An example would be an article I read recently where a highly respected church leader said, “I think the role of pastors at this time in history is to be a curator of human talent. They need to learn how to cultivate, how to identify, how to nurture, how to develop and unleash the God-given potential in every person.”
At it’s core, I agree with this leader’s assessment. Part of our job description biblically is to help people develop and mature into all that God has for them. Even still, that is only partly up to us.
My concern is that while every Pastor is called to shepherd people to places of greater growth and maturity, not every Pastor is good at cultivating AND identifying AND nurturing AND developing AND unleashing.
Some are good at identifying, but not very good at nurturing. Some are good at cultivating, but not very good at unleashing. Add to the mix that we ALL do well to commit to a posture of life-long learning. Even still, we cannot be good at everything that is expected of us. We are humans, and built into us are limitations.
Friends, co-workers, part of finding your personal pace is to accept the fact that you are just a human, and therefore limited. Demands all around us and the expectations, whether imposed by others or self-imposed, tempt us to be and do and perform and live up to some things that even Jesus doesn’t expect of us.
First and foremost, we must be followers of His, whatever that may mean. You see, while we all love the same Savior, He has created each of us very differently from one another. You will find no ministry or vocation that has two of the exact same people in them, because we’re all as unique as our fingerprints. Better said, we are all unique because of His fingerprints upon us.
In finding your personal pace, release yourself from the comparisons, the “should’s” and the “ought-to’s”. Find who Jesus is making YOU to be in the context of the role and mantle He has given you, and receive that as part of your personal pace.
What is one thing you are doing right now in your role ONLY because it is expected and NOT because it is part of who God made you to be?
Your Personal Pace, Part 4
August 7, 2008
I don’t want to do this. I really don’t. But I must. It’s where the Lord has me right now, so I must address this part of anyone’s personal pace.
What do you do with your grief and loss? How does that impact your personal pace of life?
It used to be that when I experienced grief and loss, I did my best to “weep with those who” wept, but wouldn’t grieve much because we “don’t grieve as those who have no hope.” Both of those biblical quotes true and poignant …. and so easily misunderstood.
You see, like many of you, I’m a Pastor. Loss and grief is something my people face every day. Over the years, when you don’t have any grasp on what it means to be “blessed” to be someone who “mourns”, you tend to just pull up your boot straps and just move on.
Until, that is, you end up suffering a loss, or a spattering of losses that cause you to emotionally come to a grinding halt. A painful, yet powerful, lesson I’ve learned is that loss and grief must impact your personal pace. If it doesn’t, something’s wrong.
I don’t mean to sound brash or harsh, but having been one who thought others grieving should get over it and move on, I had to learn that if God grieves, so do I grieve. I can grieve now, as the losses occur, or I will grieve them later, more painfully, and maybe at greater cost to my own health.
I mentioned a few sentences back that this is where the Lord has me.
- Two church member funerals in two weeks
- Three funerals in a month
- A case of cancer gone wrong for one lady I pastor (after four surgical procedure in two months to remove masses, now they will do a full mastectomy)
- A staff member’s uncle who died suddenly this week
- My son, whose leg is fine and will be stronger, but who is missing much of his 13th Summer
- A Pastor in my city who hangs on the brink of life in an ICU after a massive brain hemorrhage 10 days ago
- A man I pastor who survived a quadruple bypass a few months back and was ready to go back to work right when the need for a pacemaker came into his picture.
I now realize that when I face loss and walk through it with the people I lead, it impacts my personal pace. If I don’t allow room for it, I pay for it later. What does it mean to “make room for it”? A few things:
- I cry when I feel like it.
- I slow down my schedule to account for the time spent with grieving friends and relatives.
- I admit to others that I don’t have all the answers.
- I do my best to give myself grace to not feel “on top of it” all the time.
This is a piece of personal pace that I don’t like, but I believe it’s a really important one. Is there anything you would add to the list of “make room” allowances?
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