What Pastors Should Know Before Their Sabbatical
September 13, 2011
Editor’s note: This article is by Martin Sanders, Director of the Doctor of Ministry program at Alliance Theological Seminary, Nyack, NY. and founder of Global Leadership, Inc. Warren Bird oversees the research division of Leadership Network, has co-authored 24 books, and is a frequent contributor to Outreach magazine.
The good news is that 35% of Protestant congregations say they provide their pastors with opportunity for a sabbatical leave. They affirm the value of a carefully planned period of time in which a pastor is granted space apart from normal ministerial responsibilities in order to spend an extended period of time in study, learning, and reflection.
The bad news is that not all pastors ask for or take a sabbatical, even when they qualify – most commonly, it’s available at the end of five or seven years of service. In Scripture, the Sabbath (from which the word sabbatical comes) was not a suggestion. Moses included it in his top 10, and Jesus challenged the ways it had become a chore instead of a blessing. Pastors need a rhythm of rest.
The worse news is that those pastors who do take a sabbatical too often come back reporting that they weren’t prepared and didn’t get the value out of it.
Over the years, I (Martin) have heard too many pastors say, upon returning from their sabbatical, “I didn’t take it soon enough” or “I was not prepared for the emotional roller coaster that I experienced.” I was getting phone calls from friends and former students in ministry asking, as they try to take a sabbatical, “Why am I so angry?” The most surprising piece was phone calls from spouses, “Will you call my husband or wife? We thought it would be a great time of relaxation and laughter, but we’re not enjoying each other. In fact, my spouse is no fun right now.”
In response, I started writing people I knew after their sabbatical and asking for their reflections on what happened. Here are some representative comments from 84 different reports:
- “I tried to accomplish too much; I stayed too much into the mode of doing.”
- “I didn’t spend enough time structuring it in advance.”
- “I regret that I didn’t spend more time just reading my Bible.”
- “I wish it had gone longer. I thought the available 3-4 months felt extravagant so I took less, but now wish I had done the full 3 or 4.”
- “I needed a good friend to process thoughts of the sabbatical, both during and after it.”
- “I wish I would have rested more and thought less, not working on projects or planning the future.”
- “I’m sorry I didn’t give more of myself to my family. It hurt to hear them say things like, ‘When you were home, you came home physically but your mind was somewhere else’ and ‘You didn’t look at me as we talked; your body was there, but not all of you.’”
- “I wasn’t prepared for the feelings that surfaced, such as frustration and anger.”
We believe it’s possible to sidestep or overcome each of those concerns. Here’s what to do:
1. Decide the Focus
Is this sabbatical for relaxation only? (That’s not a very popular option with most church boards.) However, do start with rest, sleeping a lot.
Is it an extended study leave? Many large-church pastors take short study sabbaticals in early January or summer.
Remember that the overall impact of a sabbatical, by definition, is to be a “sabbath” rest. If it’s more than a short vacation or study break, create a chart with a specific working plan while allowing flexibility. Without some level of structure, you’ll be frustrated as also will those sending you on the sabbatical. One model is to envision your time away in fourths: Rest, Read/study, Reflection, and Re-entry with assimilation.
2. Set the Length
The timing of your sabbatical often depends on where you are in life, from your mental health to the needs of your family. It’s better to have shorter sabbaticals at intervals than to wait too long to have a longer one.
3. Prepare Well
Preparation is as important as the sabbatical itself. Too many people spend the first few weeks of the sabbatical “working” to finish up outstanding tasks, using up a big slice of the sabbatical itself just getting ready for the sabbatical.
Instead, plan to slow down beforehand; start the wind-down process a few weeks before it starts. Then the day the sabbatical starts, walk away and start it, no matter what is still left undone.
4. Find a Buddy
Pre-arrange to check in with a key friend, counselor, or mentor who will help you process your feelings, issues, and experiences. The biggest surprise most sabbatical takers report are the deep emotions that come up when they push their “pause” button and begin their sabbatical.
5. Avoid Big Tasks
Guard against establishing big projects to accomplish while on sabbatical, such as writing a book, a leadership manual, or a reworked organizational chart. We know of one person who spent 4 months on his sabbatical building a study in which he could learn and grow. It was a definite change of pace, but the sabbatical ended before he experienced any rest or intellectual stimulation!
6. Make Space for Jesus
It’s important during the sabbatical to feed your emotional side just as much as your intellect. Avoid focusing exclusively on materials that will give you new ideas and stretch your mind. Recharge your spirit and heart as well.
Jesus found life in the Sabbath, and you too can find new life in Christ through your sabbatical. In fact, one of the best activities you can do on sabbatical is to renew your love for Jesus. So whatever you plan for your sabbatical, include a generous time to read the Gospels, perhaps looking especially at Jesus’ times away and especially how he handled interruptions. Most of Jesus’ miracles came as an interruption, as he responded to a need. If after a sabbatical you’re more able to turn interruptions into welcome ministry opportunities, then you too will have learned the secrets of a successful sabbatical.
Pre-arrange to check in with a key friend, counselor, or mentor who will help you process your feelings, issues, and experiences. The biggest surprise most sabbatical takers report are the deep emotions that come up when they push their “pause” button and begin their sabbatical.
Rx for Churches Creating a Sabbatical Policy
- Qualifications: Specify what roles this covers (lead pastor only?), when it can happen (after X years of service at that church), and for how long (X months).
- Budget: Be clear about who pays for travel, education or other expenses, when, and what documentation is necessary.
- Goals: Set measurable written objectives or expectations for the sabbatical period.
- Communication: How will the sabbatical be announced to the congregation, and what report is expected after the sabbatical concludes, and to whom?
- Ethics: Have an honest quiet conversation about the pastor’s future and fit in the church. Some pastors take a sabbatical in order to secretly look for another church position, resigning as soon as they return.
7 Ways to Deal with “Worcations”
August 23, 2011
Can you say “worcation”? Apparently, President Obama can! In this article from Fox News, President Obama’s current vacation to Martha’s Vineyard is referred to as a “worcation”.
The word is not new to our culture. UrbanDictionary.com has it in their list.
I didn’t need to look it up. My hunch is that you didn’t either. As Pastors, we are all too familiar with what a “worcation” is. Some of us disdain it, while others of us thrive on them.
Maybe it’s our need to feel like we’re not “wasting” time. Maybe it’s an effort to make a vacation financially feasible. We will sometimes even look for opportunities to preach at a friend’s church while the time is actually meant to be spent recharging with our family.
Some worcations are understandable. Denominational gatherings are often held in family-friendly cities where we would actually want to bring our spouse and kids and have them enjoy the locale. There is the occasional true emergency that takes place that may call you home from vacation for a day or two in order to deal with it.
But when your kids can’t remember the last vacation they’ve had that has not included time with you gone for whatever ministry-related reason, there’s a problem. When you haven’t taken your spouse away for a weekend (an actual weekend … you know, that Friday – Sunday string of days?) in “who knows how long”, you may be dealing with some self-expectations and potential insecurity issues.
I have two teenage boys whose schedules are “normal” (ie. their “weekend” is Friday – Sunday). I try to give them 2-3 of their weekends a year (outside of vacation time) where I am not preaching, so they have a “regular Dad” for a weekend.
Pastor, let me give you a few tips to help you keep from “worcations” becoming the norm instead of an exception:
- Think back to the last time you intentionally stayed away from work/ministry in order to really spend extended time with your spouse and kids
- Look at your current calendar … when is the next time you have already planned where that will happen? If the answer to that question is what I think it is, set a goal to get it planned with your spouse by one week from today.
- If your heart is feeling that tug to schedule it close to a friends church, resist the urge and plan for it to be as far away from a friends church as you can!
- If you’re concerned about who will take care of things when you’re gone, find someone you can begin addressing this with as soon as possible. A close friend who seems to have a handle on this or a therapist would be a good start. I have a list of some here that work with pastors.
- When you pack to leave for your vacation, leave the ministry-related reading behind. Bring some good novels or whatever reading you find fun. I know, I know … your ministry-related reading is fun to you. Trust me, leave it behind and bring some other fun.
- When you leave for your time away, turn off the email, Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare and any other alerts that are activated on your phone. Give one or two other people you trust the phone number of the place you’re staying. Remember the days when you actually had to be found when you were away? Enjoy some of them again.
- When you return, resist the urge to “hit the ground running”. Ease back in slowly. Do a half day your first day or two back in. Your kids will thank you for it, and believe me, so will the people who work with you.
Anything else you would add to the mix?
John Piper Taking Leave
April 5, 2010
You may or may not have heard that John Piper, Pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is taking an extended 7 month long leave of absence, starting on May 1.
You can read his statement here.
You can read the Bethlehem Elder’s response here.
I commend John for taking this step to care for himself, his marriage, his family, his church family, and the wider Body of Christ.
If you’re a regular here at Pastor For Life, you know that I strongly believe in the Biblical pattern of sabbaticals and the entire concept of self-care. You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself.
Thoughts?
What Does Tiger Woods’ Apology Say To Pastors?
February 19, 2010
You’ve probably heard enough about Tiger Woods’ sordid lifestyle. I have too. And I have no interest in exploiting any of it.
However, I have a lot of interest, for myself and any other Pastor, in learning from it. I have no interest in analyzing Tiger’s actions or apology to the nth degree.
Regardless of what any of us think about Tiger’s words or motives, there remain a number of analogous issues between the persona of a famous person and the persona of a Pastor. As Pastors, we are tempted to live two lives, one in public and another in private.
It’s interesting that Tiger mentioned in his statement that he felt “entitled” to “enjoy the temptations around” him because he had worked so hard all his life.
Often, Pastors struggle with that same temptation. We work so hard and for so long that we can be tempted to feel that we are entitled to stretch the boundaries of our behavior, be it in the area of sexuality, financial indiscretions, or anything else.
What did you hear Tiger say that could be helpful for Pastors as well?
Creating a Culture of Balance
July 5, 2009
I recently read a great paper available from Leadership Network on how Pastors in their 20′s and 30′s are dealing with the stress and strain of ministry life. It was an excellent read and encouraging to hear that these guys are thinking much differently than I was trained. It gives me hope for the future of the Pastor and the future of the Church.
If you’d like your own copy to enjoy, click here.
I’d be very interested in your thoughts and comments if you end up reading it. Post them here below.
A Pastor or A Politician? The Unfolding of Governor Mark Sanford?
June 25, 2009
What’s the difference between a Pastor and a Politician? Both are highly public figures. Both represent something larger than themselves. There are similarities that are eerie and sometimes dangerous, and we could go on and on about them. But there are some important distinctions to make too.
When a Pastor fails morally, he or she most often loses everything, their job, their church, often their support system, kids often lose their friends from church or their school if a move is necessary; sometimes they even lose their marriage and family.
When a Politician fails morally, he or she may take a hit in their approval ratings, but rarely do they lose everything around them. Sometimes they do, but not often.
With this week’s news about the bizarre story of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford being on a secret trip to Argentina having been about an adulterous affair he was having with a woman who lives there, he joins the ranks of a few politicians who have failed morally.
- Just last week, Nevada Senator John Ensign admitted to an affair with a campaign staffer.
- This generation’s most visible political figure to fail morally is President Bill Clinton, who denied having an affair with a White House staffer for seven months before he finally admitted it, all while he was President
- Presidential hopeful John Edwards admitted to an affair a few months ago and it’s still making news.
- New York Governor Eliot Spitzer was tough on prostitution in his state, and then lost his job when it was discovered he had been hiring them personally.
There are more examples, but that’s enough for now. Please note that this is NOT a post about whether or not Pastors or even Politicians should resign or lose their jobs as a result of adultery. I am not saying here that they should or shouldn’t.
We don’t yet know what will happen with the situation for Mark Sanford. His wife’s statement clearly says she is ready for reconciliation should Mark want it. That’s a good thing, and I hope it happens for the sake of their entire family.
But back to the question … what’s the difference between a Pastor and a Politician? We can mark several differences:
- Pastors “work” for God; Politicians “work” for the constituents who voted for them.
- Pastors represent something sacred; most seem to believe Politicians represent something pretty secular.
- For the sake of “political correctness”, Pastors stand for the Church, while Politicians stand for the State, two institutions in America that have a weird relationship.
Let me boil this down. The point of this post has been primarily about the differences between Pastors and Politicians. But the real answer to the question, “What’s the difference between a Pastor and a Politician?” is, bottom line, NOTHING.
Part of our problem is that we make them out to be MORE THAN HUMAN. Certainly, there is a greater standard for spiritual leaders biblically, but we still make them out to be something more than flawed humans.
The more we can see that we are ALL flawed, imperfect human beings, the greater our ability to actually HELP each other when we fall, and help each other to stand again.
Your thoughts?
Summer Days Got You In A Daze?
June 23, 2009
Summer brings with it all of its splendor and, hopefully, the anticipation of some down time with family and friends. How are you facing it this year? Are you excited about, ready for some time to refresh relationships, maybe see some friends or family you haven’t seen in a while? Or are you feeling like closing the door on your bedroom, ready for somebody to wake you up when it’s time to go back to work?
There are lots of great assessment tools available to help you gauge your burnout potential and current status. I want to suggest one here that can give you an idea of where you stand as you dive into Summer. This is a perfect time in ministry life to wind down, ease back, relax a little more and let the rest rejuvenate and restore. Sometimes it can be helpful to know where you’re at in your own body, mind and soul, and what your level of need is to be refreshed.
Maybe it will help you plan what kind of vacation you really need this year. Go ahead, try it out.
Redeeming the Secular
June 11, 2009
I know this post may cause some controversy, especially following my last post. However, when my wife encouraged me to read this column from the LA Times’ Chris Erskine, I immediately thought of how some of the things we lament in our culture can truly be redeemed. This is one of those things.
Read on, for those who are married, please enjoy, and feel free to leave any comments you feel appropriate. Really, it’s OK, ….. you’re not gonna hurt my feelings. I just think this is funny, and we could all use a good chuckle. Some may even be brave enough to try it, but please, ONLY with your spouse!
Baring his soul . . . and more
Keeping a relationship alive these days isn’t easy. So, in an effort to demonstrate my commitment, I just sexted my wife of 27 years — that is, I have sent her a revealing photo taken with my cellphone.
Love, says H.L. Mencken, is merely “a state of perceptual anesthesia.”
Now, I know my parents would never approve, but I don’t care anymore what they think. They’re not the boss of me.
And I don’t see what’s so wrong with sexting. It’s a declaration of love, much like a wedding ring or a ginormous dragon tattoo, from your hipbone to your neck. At least I didn’t do that.
In my case, I didn’t do anything bad to my body. I just lifted my Dodger T-shirt. Aim. Snap. Send.
Now, I know what you’re wondering. What happens when Posh eventually dumps you? Wonder if, out of spite, your wife distributes your sexy photo to her friends (the Yummy Mummies), and then the revealing photo makes its way all over the Internet and onto their Facebook pages, which they’ve suddenly flocked to like pigeons to popcorn? Facebook, the new merlot.
Anyway, suppose that happens, then what? You know how those Yummy Mummies are — they can’t keep a secret, especially not a sexy one.
You know, you just can’t worry about what other people think. I love Posh and she loves me. Besides, I’m tired of parents getting all judgmental over everything us kids do. My mom, she’s 84 now, won’t even let me get my tongue pierced. I said, “Mom, back off, OK? Gimme my space! I’m old enough to disgrace myself in any way I see fit!!!!”
Then I cried a little. Then I called Posh and we talked for, like, four hours.
::
If you’re not familiar with “sexting,” here’s the deal. Beginning a year or two ago, teenagers (usually girls) began sending naked or semi-naked cellphone photos of themselves to the loves of their lives.
At first blush — assuming anyone blushes anymore — this moronic gesture seemed mostly harmless. Sure, it compromised the poor girl’s dignity and any sense of self-worth. But that’s OK. Dignity and self-worth are now available at most major department stores and online.
The only permanent drawback to sexting is that a teenage girl can be a rather fickle creature. Sometimes, the love of her life turns out to be the love of her week.
So, in practice, when the girlfriends eventually dumped the boys, some of the jilted boys also forgot their sense of dignity and distributed the embarrassing shots to their friends, who sent it to their friends, till pretty much everyone in the world had it.
This, my friends, is how sexting got such a lousy, undeserved reputation.
This, I assure you, will never happen to me.
Aim. Snap. Send.
::
It’s not till now — yesterday morning, actually — that dads like me started sexting, meaning the trend may have run its course, who knows. That would be unfortunate. As with many things, once a dad does it, it’s never really cool again. Like when your old man started watching “Idol.”
Or Mom got her mitts on Facebook.
But let me just say this: Sexting rocks! Sexting is exciting! It made me feel all sexy again, and I didn’t even need to take any of those pills that can give you a big honkin’ headache and sometimes, occasionally kill you. All I had to do was act on impulse and lift my shirt.
I also included a little note: “YOU+ME 4-EVER!”
What did Posh do? Well, I sent the sext-message from the next room, and when Posh received it, she yelped a little, then gagged, then got all dizzy and passed out. It was like our honeymoon all over again. I kissed her to consciousness, then we went out for a nice lunch.
Aim. Snap. Delete.
Incredibly Powerful Marriage Material
April 30, 2009
If you’re looking for some marriage material that will preach, click here and check back throughout today and after today. The pre-conference is all on the marriage relationship being impacted by Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.
Post-Holiday Intense Life Patterns
January 25, 2009
Is it just me, or do you find that your counseling requests increase right after the holidays with INTENSE situations? Over the first three weeks of the New Year, I’ve had a handful of REALLy intense life situations for people and couples in the church.
Looking back, I am finding this to be common at the first part of the year. Maybe due to the holiday stress and steam letting out, maybe due to the financial stress of the holiday season and credit cards being stretched.
The symptoms don’t present themselves that way, but the proverbial cork is definitely popping off the top of some relationships and lives right now.
Let me wncourage you to manage your focus and health well. Keep up (or for some, begin now) the habits of doing things just for you, rather than getting caught in the cycle of doing for everyone else.
When life and relationships are leaning on us hard, it’s important to be sure we’re standing on the right Rock! I’ve been “working” to be sure my life has some non-church/non-work margin to it.
For instance:
- I spent some extra time this week with Colleen, going to bed when she does (I’m a night owl by nature).
- I attended and celebrated Colleen’s first Certified Nurse’s Assistant Class Graduation. Her first 10 students couldn’t say enough about her and boy did she soar and shine handing out those certificates of completion!
- I spent a chunk of time this week with some new friends in ministry that I don’t get to see very often, and it’s been refreshing and rewarding.
- I took the time (even though there wasn’t much) to keep my quarterly appointment with my psychiatrist. The drive there and back is always relaxing for me, and the time in the appointment well worth it.
What are you doing for you to keep your margins well-attended?
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- What Got Us Here Won’t Get Us There, Part 4
- What Pastors Should Know Before Their Sabbatical
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