Dispelling Some Myths About Depression

November 21, 2008

Anne Jackson, author of the soon-to-be-released Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic, and blogger-extraordinaire at Flowerdust.net, wrote about depression in words that are more than adequate.

I REALLY encourage you to go there and read it.

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Anxiety, Brokenness, Burnout, Depression, Emotional health, Pastor, Physical health, Spiritual health | Leave a Comment 

Leading On Empty

November 12, 2008

If you’re following Pastor For Life, you know we’ve been somewhat chronicling the story of Pastor Wayne Cordeiro through his recent heart surgery and his return to the pulpit following this encounter. I am a regular reader of his blog …. MentoringLeaders.com.

I was quite surprised and blessed when my original article here was used in its entirety to report Wayne’s surgery to the MentoringLeaders.com family. In the process, I’ve been able to contact Wayne, and he has agreed to do an interview with PastorForLife.org regarding his recent crisis and return to ministry.

However, I am very excited to also lead you to a couple of recent posts at MentoringLeaders.com that give a sneak peek of his soon-to-be-released book titled, “Leading On Empty”. He writes it out of his personal experience with burnout a few years ago.

Having survived burnout myself as a Pastor, it’s not often that we who go through this crisis end up with the privilege of continuing to serve the same congregation. Often, that’s because the burnout ended up leading to a moral failure of some sort that disqualified a Pastor’s ministry.

I have come to learn that there are MANY of us whose burnout does not lead to any kind of moral failure. Yet still, church leaders often assume that if the Pastor is experiencing burnout, there must be SOMEthing that’s not right that would damage the trust of the leaders or congregation in that Pastor to regain health and lead again. Most often, nothing could be further from the truth.

Wayne is one of the few who is opening his life and his story so that other Pastors might find help and wholeness on the road to healing. I encourage you to check out the Sneak Peek 1 and Sneak Peek 2 of “Leading On Empty”.

AND, stay tuned here at PastorForLife.org for our upcoming interview to learn more from Wayne’s story.

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Brokenness, Burnout, Church life, Depression, Emotional health, Expectations, Failure, Leadership, Pace of life, Pastor, Physical health, Spiritual health, duplicity, vulnerability | 1 Comment 

Adrenal Letdown

October 27, 2008

I’ve heard it said that preaching for an hour can equal the energy output of 3-4 hours worth of work. Multiply that for Pastors who preach at multiple services by the number of services they preach at each weekend.

Arch Hart, in his book, “Adrenaline & Stress”, lays out his study on the impact of adrenaline on a person’s body. He emphasizes the impact it has on Pastors in the book, as well as in many of his talks to groups of Pastors.

Over the last few years, with Arch’s help, I’ve grown to identify much of the awful after-effects of preaching as adrenal letdown. Preaching demands the use of adrenaline and I find that many Pastors either have no idea, or they completely deny, its impact. You know, we’re Superman/women/people, right? What might impact others negatively, God will protect us from! (In case you’re wondering, yes, my tongue is in my cheek as I write that!)

Arch contends that when you expend an inordinate amount of adrenaline, like we Pastors do when we preach, you are bound to experience a letdown of the adrenaline so that the system, the body, can recover and restore itself back to a normal state. There are various brain chemicals involved in the cycle, including serotonin, which can drop low as adrenaline restores, resulting in a feeling of depression at different levels.

How much time it takes to recover and what the symptoms of the recovery are can be different for everyone. For me, I find that on Monday, it’s common for me to develop a low grade headache right behind my eyes. I call it my “serotonin-low” headache. And there’s a general malaise that I often experience.

Have you identified the impact of adrenaline recovery after you preach? What are your common signs?

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Depression, Emotional health, Margin, Pace of life, Pastor, Personal Pace, Physical health, Rest, Spiritual health, sleep | 4 Comments 

Do You Need A Nap?

September 9, 2008

Think what you will, but everyBODY needs a nap, at least once in a while, if not almost every day. In reality, this post should probably stand on its own in the “Your Personal Pace” series. The topic is sleep, and you may think it a luxury. It may be a necessity.

Justify it to your heart’s delight. Actually, it’s probably to your heart’s terror and dread. I went for years bragging on how I could live on 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Until my body said, “No more!”

Read about any sleep study you can get your hands on. You need AT LEAST 6-8 hours of sleep every night. We all have to go without some of what we need, but we want that to be the exception, not the norm. If you lose some of it tonight, studies will also tell you that we can’t “catch up” on it.

However, we CAN follow our bodies. They’re usually smarter than we are and tell us what we need when we need it. The problem is we think we are smarter than the body God created us in. He uses MANY avenues to speak to us … how about our body? When we need rest/sleep, it is sure to tell us.

So, if you’re reading this with toothpicks in your eyes to keep them open, go take a nap. You want to find out how it feels to “Pastor FOR Life” and “Pastor WITH Life”, go take yourself a nap!

When I encountered burnout several years ago, one of the symptoms was insomnia. My adrenal glands, according to my doctor, were exhausted. They no longer knew when to spurt adrenaline into my system and when not to. So they did whenever they felt like it, and sometimes wouldn’t when I really needed it.

Over the years, I’ve used a number of sleep aids. Even to this day, I currently use Lunesta on a regular basis. (NOTE: Only use sleep medications with a doctor’s prescription. That’s not legalese, it’s common sense!) I also use an eye cover, as I’ve discovered that even a little light can wake me or keep me awake. When I travel, I use ear plugs.

If you’re looking for some good napping help, here’s a little primer from the Boston Globe:


Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Depression, Emotional health, Life, Margin, Pace of life, Pastor, Personal Pace, Physical health, Rest, Sabbath, Spiritual health, Things that drain life, Things that give life, sleep | 1 Comment 

The Road To POP

August 15, 2008

Mike Foster …. can you make it any more clear than this? I mean, come on, I’m not quite sure I get what you’re saying ;-) . Maybe you (reading this) can help me understand. Then again, maybe Mike’s made this CLEAR ENOUGH!!!

I am hardcore about taking personal responsibility for managing our emotional, spiritual, physical, and relational health. Why? Because I believe every passion, mission, job, or ministry has a road leading to POP.

What’s POP? It’s where you have depleted everything in your life and you simply breakdown. Your job, company, organization, and leadership role has sucked you dry. Btw, the worst culprits: churches and ministries. You give EVERYTHING and then you have left yourself bare, vulnerable, and in a toxic place. And then you POP!

Sometimes POP looks like destructive escapism like alcohol, drugs, or porn.

Sometimes POP means running off with a hot young thing you met on the internet 2 weeks ago.

Sometimes it means going into a maniacal rage in some company meeting, jumping on top of the table, taking your clothes off, and getting jiggy with it.

Tragically, sometimes POP means suicide or a massive heart attack that kills you.

POP means bailing on your spouse and your kids so you can go “find” yourself…with some other guy/gal.

And then after a month of us “doing the crazy” we come back to our life with huge regrets and a big mess to start cleaning up. Sometimes and sadly, we are never the same.

The story isn’t rare. It’s actually pretty common.

I’ve realized hard wirings in me that would lead me to the POP scenario. If I didn’t manage my life well I could find my self blowing up and breaking down…and quite quickly. In a matter of months or a few bad weeks and…..POP!

Let me be clear here. I’m not alone on this road. You’re on it too. Some of you are aware of it and are working on it in your life. Others are completely blind to the forces that are working against you. And if I ever meet you, and I see you heading towards POP, I’m going to call you out on it.

I’m going to smack you down and warn you. And I don’t want to hear your excuses and valid reasons of why you HAVE to lead your life sucked dry. Pure crap! You just don’t have the balls to make the hard decisions in your personal life. And if I was in a POP scenario in my life, I would expect the same from you.

Every person is on the road leading to POP. I just hope all of us figure out how to live our lives so we never arrive at that final destination.

Thoughts?

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Church life, Depression, Emotional health, Failure, Family, Leadership, Life, Margin, Pace of life, Pastor, Physical health, Relationships, Rest, Spiritual health, Things that add life, Things that drain life, death | 4 Comments 

Your Personal Pace, Part 4

August 7, 2008

I don’t want to do this. I really don’t. But I must. It’s where the Lord has me right now, so I must address this part of anyone’s personal pace.

What do you do with your grief and loss? How does that impact your personal pace of life?

It used to be that when I experienced grief and loss, I did my best to “weep with those who” wept, but wouldn’t grieve much because we “don’t grieve as those who have no hope.” Both of those biblical quotes true and poignant …. and so easily misunderstood.

You see, like many of you, I’m a Pastor. Loss and grief is something my people face every day. Over the years, when you don’t have any grasp on what it means to be “blessed” to be someone who “mourns”, you tend to just pull up your boot straps and just move on.

Until, that is, you end up suffering a loss, or a spattering of losses that cause you to emotionally come to a grinding halt. A painful, yet powerful, lesson I’ve learned is that loss and grief must impact your personal pace. If it doesn’t, something’s wrong.

I don’t mean to sound brash or harsh, but having been one who thought others grieving should get over it and move on, I had to learn that if God grieves, so do I grieve. I can grieve now, as the losses occur, or I will grieve them later, more painfully, and maybe at greater cost to my own health.

I mentioned a few sentences back that this is where the Lord has me.

  • Two church member funerals in two weeks
  • Three funerals in a month
  • A case of cancer gone wrong for one lady I pastor (after four surgical procedure in two months to remove masses, now they will do a full mastectomy)
  • A staff member’s uncle who died suddenly this week
  • My son, whose leg is fine and will be stronger, but who is missing much of his 13th Summer
  • A Pastor in my city who hangs on the brink of life in an ICU after a massive brain hemorrhage 10 days ago
  • A man I pastor who survived a quadruple bypass a few months back and was ready to go back to work right when the need for a pacemaker came into his picture.

I now realize that when I face loss and walk through it with the people I lead, it impacts my personal pace. If I don’t allow room for it, I pay for it later. What does it mean to “make room for it”? A few things:

  • I cry when I feel like it.
  • I slow down my schedule to account for the time spent with grieving friends and relatives.
  • I admit to others that I don’t have all the answers.
  • I do my best to give myself grace to not feel “on top of it” all the time.

This is a piece of personal pace that I don’t like, but I believe it’s a really important one. Is there anything you would add to the list of “make room” allowances?

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Church life, Depression, Life, Margin, Mourning, Pastor, Personal Pace, Rest, Suffering, Things that add life, Things that drain life, death | 5 Comments 

One Thing I Always Said Would Never Happen To Me

January 28, 2008

We all have things we observe happening in other people (especially leaders) that we quietly, and sometimes not so quietly, declare will never happen to us.

  • “I would never leave my wife for another woman!”
  • “I would never steal from the church!”
  • “I would never misuse my authority!”
  • “I would never … (fill in the blank)!”

My “never”? I would never BURN OUT! That is the one thing that would never happen to me for a number of well-considered reasons:

  1. I think things through well and am very level-headed, calm, non-anxious.
  2. I love to sleep, napping whenever I can and sleeping in at every opportunity.
  3. I love my days off (when I take them).
  4. I am not even sure burnout is real; maybe it’s just a lazy man’s way of getting out of work.

I could go on and on. Burnout was the one thing that would never happen to me. Until it did.

I couldn’t understand what they meant when they said they couldn’t focus or concentrate like they used to. They must be getting old or something. I’m only 35!

I had no comprehension (and probably even less compassion) when it came to hearing someone say they didn’t have the energy to get out of bed in the morning. THAT is laziness!

I was at a loss when some of the strongest people I knew in my church would sit in my office in a pool of tears that they couldn’t explain. They would try to describe how the emotions were out of control and they couldn’t keep from crying for no reason. Inside, I would think, “That’s just plain weird! You need some help, but I don’t think I can give it. Pull up your boot straps and move on!”

Not in my wildest or scariest dreams did I ever think I would be in that same place. But I was.

What is the “one thing that will never happen” to you? Share it in the comments, if you dare be so honest!

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Anxiety, Burnout, Depression, Failure, Pastor, Things that drain life | Leave a Comment 

The Journey continues ….

October 31, 2007

“We pray that you’ll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.”

Colossians 1:10-12 (MSG)

“Pastor for Life” has been rolling around in my heart for a LLLOOOOONNNNGGGG time, at least it seems like a long time.

I am a Pastor. And sometimes, that’s weird!

  • One of those particular groups of people who is never supposed to burn out, but I did.
  • One of those people who are supposed to be resilient to weakness, but I wasn’t.
  • One of those professions that isn’t a profession, but it is.
  • One of those jobs that will never be 9 to 5, but honest pastors will say we sometimes wish it was.

The reality of this “calling”, “profession”, “job”, “ministry”, is that it is sometimes a monster that drains one of life instead of giving it. When I began to be honest about that and deal with it accordingly through my own burnout recovery, that’s when I began to find life in it. It was only then that I began to rediscover that Pastoring is what God made me to do, and I want to do it my whole life.

Pastor for Life = people who God has called to this thing that want to find life in it, rather than death.

Pastor for Life = people who long to do this successfully (we’ll talk ALOT about what that even means) for the rest of their lives.

This blog is for Pastors and/or former Pastors who have been down the roads of burnout, depression, failure and everything in between. It is also for Pastors and/or former Pastors who have NOT been down those roads and do NOT want to go down them. I will tell my story in the hopes it will help some, and that others might help me.

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Church life, Depression, Life, Pastor, Things that drain life | 1 Comment 

Help When You Hurt

Who ministers to the Minister when you're hurting? Many do, and they can be found on this listing. Please find a friend in your area and seek the help you need today.
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A Place For You

Many Pastors are not aware that all over the country are a number of places you can retreat to for a number of given reasons or purposes. Find some of them here, get there, and find your pace!
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