The Dark Side of Ministry

November 11, 2009

Milfred Minitrea of the Missional Church Center, wrote a powerful post on his blog that I think deals with the dark side of ministry and how Pastors are constantly dealing with the issue of congregational change management and ministry effectiveness.

In His post called, “Depression: Pastors In Pain”, he writes:

David Treadway, pastor of Sandy Ridge Baptist Church in Hickory, North Carolina committed suicide in September. His tragic death is the fourth pastor suicide in the Carolinas during the past four years. Pastor Treadway was undergoing treatment for depression. In a USA Today article published October 29, 2009, Greg Warner addressed depression among pastors. He wrote, “Most depression does not lead to suicide, but almost all suicides begin with depression.”

The article identified impossible role expectations often placed upon pastors, together with their innate resistance to seek help when they become depressed. They fear, too often appropriately, that congregational leaders would understand their depression to be a failure of faith rather than an illness to be treated. So, pastors suffer alone while trying to care for others.

Matthew Stanford, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Baylor University in Waco, Texas said “The likelihood is that one out of every four pastors is depressed.” Further, “Anxiety and depression in the pulpit are “markedly higher” in the last five years…The current economic crisis has caused many of our pastors to go into depression.”

The author clearly cited the economic environment as a primary cause. Then he added, “Besides the recession’s strain on church budgets, depressed pastors increasingly report frustration over their congregations’ resistance to cultural change.” When I read those words, a passing comment on a secondary cause of depression in the article, my heart leaped. For that is precisely what I repeatedly hear from pastors across North America.

“My congregation wants to return to the way things used to be. They are unwilling to accept the reality of cultural changes in our world. Further, they perceive culture, “the way we do things” as sacred. Even when those things are no longer working, they say we should just try to do them better. And when those old methods are not successful, the failure is perceived as being the fault of the pastoral staff. They are unwilling to allow our congregational culture to change so that we can be more relevant among a changing population.” This resistance to change is sometimes public. At other times it skims just beneath the surface like a private torpedo locked on target, ready to do massive destruction.

As pastors understand the marginalization of Christianity in contemporary culture, consequently perceiving the requisite adaptation of the church toward an incarnational missionary posture, their passion to lead toward such culture shifts is often met with resistance. Leading a conventional congregation to perceive the need for change is a massive undertaking, a challenge that will often result in things getting worse before they get better. Those who cannot accept the need for internal congregational change will voice opposition. Those who support internal change will then find themselves defending the need for change. Repeatedly I have seen the dialogue move from the issue of “changing the way we do things” to challenges of personal loyalty within the congregation. Instead of conflict about process, the conflict becomes personal.

In those moments, pastors are caught in the untenable position of loving, serving, and leading a flock that has become divided. I can recall the deep pain of having a man whom I loved dearly, but who did not agree with new directions in ministry, unleash a barrage of vindictive verbal assaults. He was mad. Plain and simple. And his words were not filled with grace in that instance. His words were fiery darts. I felt the darts tear through my heart, a heart that had given eight years of pastoral care to our flock. In my own immaturity I tried to reason with him while he was still angry. I so wanted to please. To make it all right. And when I could not, I walked away wounded. When I was alone, I wept bitterly. Over the next weeks, I was too bruised and weak to continue to lead toward the kind of changes that needed to be made in order for effective ministry to continue. And I walked into a dark night that lasted for months.

Ultimately I found solace through the counsel of Ken Sharp, the tallest Christian counselor I have ever known, who became a dear friend in ministry. Further, I warmed to my own condition as I read Don Baker and Emery Nester’s, Depression: Finding Hope and Meaning in Life’s Darkest Shadow, a wonderful treatment published by Multnomah Press. Not nearly every pastor is blessed with an understanding friend and counselor. Many do not find voices to accompany them through their pain.

As North American churches struggle in a changed and changing culture, the role of pastoral leadership is challenging. We constantly encounter brothers and sisters in ministry who are walking a tightrope as they lead. It is highly improbable that they will be able to walk the tightrope, lead toward a new way of being church in a changing culture, and keep everybody happy in the process. I pray that we can be fellow pilgrims on their journey offering support and encouragement where we can. And sometimes, our greatest help may be simply to walk with them through the darkness.

One thing I know. We must not let those who are suffering walk the path alone.

Having been diagnosed myself with clinical depression myself, and continuing to struggle through its seasonal ups and downs, I know some of what Milfred speaks. I particularly appreciate his perspective on how Pastors are impacted by leading a congregation toward effective ministry in cultural seas change.

Change is an interesting animal, and when a Pastor sees it occurring and senses God-given vision to lead the church to be more effective in it, the opposition that sometimes comes from the most well-meaning people can be overwhelming. Thus, our need to be in continual fellowship and receiving encouragement from fellow Pastors walking through change as well.

Thoughts? Whether about depression, leading through change, or both?

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Anxiety, Brokenness, Change, Church life, Church people, Depression, Emotional health, Expectations, Failure, Leadership, Pastor, Spiritual health, Things that drain life, Tragedy, death, grief | 8 Comments 

Rest That Sleep Can’t Provide

November 4, 2009

Josh Patterson, Executive Pastor at The Village Church in Highland Village, Texas, wrote this great post recently on the topic of real rest …

I spent the last two weeks away from work and one of those weeks in Jamaica on vacation. I had no agenda and not a lot of responsibility. I didn’t have e-mails to return, no pressure to return calls or make meetings. My most pressing decision was which book to read. It really was a great couple of weeks.

But, there is a kind of rest that sleep cannot provide. There is a kind of rest that a vacation or time away from work doesn’t produce.

During my time away, I reflected on the nature of rest and what is necessary to quiet the soul and rejuvenate the spirit. I was reminded of three things: 1) sleep always helps, but is not the panacea. It is important for me to have adequate sleep each night in order to function optimally. That said, sleep alone doesn’t cure a tired soul; 2) time away from the normal routine allows me to disconnect, but doesn’t ensure I will connect with the Lord. I can turn off my phone and e-mails to help quiet my mind. This is necessary and beneficial. It was great for me to simply engage with my family and not consider all the responsibilities at work. That said, time away and a vacation means that you will have to face your weary soul either at your house or on vacation. Your heart goes with you; 3) the rest that revives and rejuvenates is the rest that is promised in the gospel. God has promised His children that we can cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. He has promised His children that He is greater than the world. He has promised to exchange my burdens for His easiness. He has promised His children that there is contentment and peace in His promises. So, in the gospel of Jesus Christ I am promised rest today and for all eternity.

In the end, I am reminded that most nights I can make a decision to get adequate sleep. Each day, I can do the necessary things to unplug and disconnect from work. Each week, I am afforded a day that is completely and wholly undivided for the sole purpose of rest, worship and connection with the Lord. Vacation and time away has reminded me that rest is a grace I overlook daily. And, that’s the kind of rest that I truly need.

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Church life, Emotional health, Life, Margin, Pace of life, Pastor, Personal Pace, Physical health, Rest, Sabbath, Sabbaticals, Spiritual health, Study & Planning Breaks, Things that give life, sleep | Leave a Comment 

Pastors Packing Whose Power?

October 1, 2009

Here’s one interesting take on whose power we’re preaching and how …. click here!

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Church life, Church people, Communication, Community, Expectations, Leadership, Pastor, Physical health, Violence | Leave a Comment 

Even The Contemplative Struggle With Burnout

July 30, 2009

You may or may not have heard of Father Peter Norden, founder of a large social justice agency in Australia called Jesuit Social Services and a well-known Prison Chaplain down under. He recently announced his resignation from the ministry after 40 years, citing burnout.

Interesting juxtaposition, in that Jesuits are known to be practicing contemplative spirituality  in every way. You can click here to not only read some of his story, but listen to a radio interview done with him where he is very frank about recognizing the lack of self-care throughout his ministry career.

Also interesting is his take on what he calls the “institutional” church, and how he is carrying on his faith in God, but not necessarily a faith in the institutional church.

Many here know that I work alongside Pastor Pete Scazzero, author of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. The thesis of the material is that you cannot seperate your spiritual maturity from your emotional health. Going further, Scazzero contends that living a life of contemplative spirituality is a primary way to bring the emotional life and health into line with your spiritual life.

Scazzero often says “the two, emotionall healthy spirituality and contemplative spirituality, go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other.” Father Norden’s story seems to be additional confirmation to this assertion.

Read, listen, and share your thoughts below.

(Special thanks to Bernie Federmann, Pastor of Lompoc Foursquare Church in Lompoc, CA, for alerting us to this story)

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Anxiety, Brokenness, Burnout, Church life, Church people, Emotional health, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Expectations, Fun, Life, Margin, Pace of life, Pastor, Personal Pace, Sabbath, Sabbaticals, Spiritual health, Things that drain life, Things that give life, confession | Leave a Comment 

Creating a Culture of Balance

July 5, 2009

I recently read a great paper available from Leadership Network on how Pastors in their 20’s and 30’s are dealing with the stress and strain of ministry life. It was an excellent read and encouraging to hear that these guys are thinking much differently than I was trained. It gives me hope for the future of the Pastor and the future of the Church.

If you’d like your own copy to enjoy, click here.

I’d be very interested in your thoughts and comments if you end up reading it. Post them here below.

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Burnout, Church life, Emotional health, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Expectations, Family, Leadership, Margin, Marriage, Pace of life, Pastor, Personal Pace, Physical health, Relationships, Rest, Sabbath, Sabbaticals, Spiritual health, Things that drain life, Things that give life, influence, success | Leave a Comment 

Erwin McManus & Dave Gibbons on Burnout

June 27, 2009

There’s an interesting conversation posted over here between Erwin McManus and Dave Gibbons. In it, they share the following on pastoral burnout:
________________________________

How to avoid burnout?

  • Erwin: Not the bible that helps someone live a moral life (it’s when people are truly connected to Jesus)
  • There are lots of lost people that live honorable lives
  • It’s about escape (that’s why someone kills their wife instead of divorcing); pastors want to get out so they self-destruct
  • Burnout is about doing something you don’t love way too much
  • When you do something you love, you become “addicted” (like athletes who get addicted to pain and practice)
  • Listen to your soul (it’s ok to change; take ownership); I once was this person but now I’m not; we don’t give each other an out
  • Don’t do things b/c you like the outcome idea, but b/c the process is rewarding
  • Primary movement of life is from illusion to reality (figure out a way to penetrate the illusions, and then you found something that’s a treasure; then it’ll help you live a fruitful life)
  • Create space for people and activity that energizes you (ministry isn’t supposed to just be “our cross that we must bear” but what are you doing that energizes you in realm of God’s will)
  • 1. Find out who and what energizes you
  • 2. Be intentional about having people speak into your life (what can I change about myself? What do you see in me?)
  • 3. What did you hear God say?

________________________________

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? What would you add?

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Brokenness, Burnout, Church life, Emotional health, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Failure, Leadership, Life, Margin, Pace of life, Pastor, Personal Pace, Things that drain life, Things that give life | 5 Comments 

Summer Days Got You In A Daze?

June 23, 2009

Summer brings with it all of its splendor and, hopefully, the anticipation of some down time with family and friends. How are you facing it this year? Are you excited about, ready for some time to refresh relationships, maybe see some friends or family you haven’t seen in a while? Or are you feeling like closing the door on your bedroom, ready for somebody to wake you up when it’s time to go back to work?

There are lots of great assessment tools available to help you gauge your burnout potential and current status. I want to suggest one here that can give you an idea of where you stand as you dive into Summer. This is a perfect time in ministry life to wind down, ease back, relax a little more and let the rest rejuvenate and restore. Sometimes it can be helpful to know where you’re at in your own body, mind and soul, and what your level of need is to be refreshed.

Maybe it will help you plan what kind of vacation you really need this year. Go ahead, try it out.

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Anxiety, Burnout, Church life, Depression, Emotional health, Expectations, Failure, Family, Leadership, Life, Margin, Pace of life, Pastor, Personal Pace, Physical health, Relationships, Rest, Sabbath, Sabbaticals, Things that add life, Things that drain life | 1 Comment 

Ted Haggard, etc. ….

January 25, 2009

Having been through some pretty rough pastoral transitions over the years, I am saddened by this week’s news of further allegations of sexual misconduct in the situation surrounding Ted Haggard and New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

I commend Pastor Brady Boyd for his forthright and pastoral handling of the situation. His is NO easy task. He deserves our support and prayers as he and the New Life leaders navigate what is sure to be a difficult week.

Along with the news of further misconduct, HBO is airing a documentary on Ted’s fall and the consequences. It airs Thursday night.

May God grace Pastor Boyd and New Life Church with His overwhelming presence this week as they continue to endure a glaring spotlight!

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Brokenness, Church life, Church people, Communication, Community, Emotional health, Expectations, Failure, Leadership, Pastor, Sex Addiction, Spiritual health, Tragedy, confession, deception, duplicity, grief | Leave a Comment 

Post-Holiday Intense Life Patterns

January 25, 2009

Is it just me, or do you find that your counseling requests increase right after the holidays with INTENSE situations? Over the first three weeks of the New Year, I’ve had a handful of REALLy intense life situations for people and couples in the church.

Looking back, I am finding this to be common at the first part of the year. Maybe due to the holiday stress and steam letting out, maybe due to the financial stress of the holiday season and credit cards being stretched.

The symptoms don’t present themselves that way, but the proverbial cork is definitely popping off the top of some relationships and lives right now.

Let me wncourage you to manage your focus and health well. Keep up (or for some, begin now) the habits of doing things just for you, rather than getting caught in the cycle of doing for everyone else.

When life and relationships are leaning on us hard, it’s important to be sure we’re standing on the right Rock! I’ve been “working” to be sure my life has some non-church/non-work margin to it.

For instance:

  • I spent some extra time this week with Colleen, going to bed when she does (I’m a night owl by nature).
  • I attended and celebrated Colleen’s first Certified Nurse’s Assistant Class Graduation. Her first 10 students couldn’t say enough about her and boy did she soar and shine handing out those certificates of completion!
  • I spent a chunk of time this week with some new friends in ministry that I don’t get to see very often, and it’s been refreshing and rewarding.
  • I took the time (even though there wasn’t much) to keep my quarterly appointment with my psychiatrist. The drive there and back is always relaxing for me, and the time in the appointment well worth it.

What are you doing for you to keep your margins well-attended?

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Church life, Church people, Emotional health, Family, Fun, Leadership, Life, Margin, Pace of life, Personal Pace, Relationships, Rest, Things that drain life, Things that give life | Leave a Comment 

I’ll Be Toast on Thursday! You?

December 22, 2008

Thursday is Christmas Day, and I am as excited about it as anyone gets. I remind our church all through the year how many days are left till Christmas.

One thing I’ve learned over the years though. When we do our Christmas Eve Celebrations on the actual night of Christmas Eve, I am almost worthless on Christmas Day.

You can deny it if you want, but it’s true for most of us in ministry leadership. It’s called Adrenal Letdown, and you can read a little more about it here. I’ve found it very freeing to be honest with myself and others about it. I fought it for too many years and wasted too much energy trying to figure out why I felt so funky the day after intense ministry and people time.

How do you deal with your adrenal letdown? What will you do with it on Christmas Day?

Posted by Paul | Filed Under Anxiety, Burnout, Church life, Emotional health, Expectations, Leadership, Pastor, Personal Pace, Physical health, Rest, Things that drain life, Things that give life | 5 Comments 

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